Helping Children Develop Self-Love: Why It Matters and How Parents Can Support It
At RINKA, our Strong Minds section in February ended with a focus on self-love—helping children recognise their own strengths, acknowledge their uniqueness, and appreciate themselves for who they are. However, we were genuinely taken aback by how difficult children found this. When asked to name things they loved about themselves or to list their strengths, many struggled.
This experience was a stark reminder that self-love isn’t something children automatically develop—it’s something they need to be taught and encouraged to practise. While children are often praised for their achievements, they may not always hear messages that help them build a deep, intrinsic sense of self-worth.
As parents, you play a crucial role in shaping how your child sees themselves. If they find it difficult to recognise their own strengths, it’s not because they don’t have any—it’s because they may not have been given the tools to see them. The good news? There are plenty of simple, meaningful ways to help your child develop self-love at home.
How to Teach Children to Love Themselves
Model Self-Love Yourself
Children learn by example. If they hear you being overly critical of yourself—whether it’s about your appearance, abilities, or mistakes—they will internalise the same self-judgment. Instead, let them hear you speak kindly about yourself. For example:
-
- “I made a mistake today, but that’s okay. I’m learning.”
- “I’m really proud of how I handled that situation.”
Celebrate Their Strengths (Beyond Achievements)
While it’s great to praise children for good grades or sporting achievements, focus on who they are as a person. Acknowledge kindness, creativity, perseverance, and curiosity. Say things like:
-
- “I love how kind you are to your friends.”
- “You have such a great sense of humour—it makes everyone smile.”
Encourage Self-Reflection
Help your child get into the habit of recognising their own strengths. Try asking:
-
- “What’s something you did today that made you proud?”
- “What do you think makes you a great friend?”
At first, they might struggle, but with consistency, they’ll learn to reflect on their positives.
Teach Them That It’s Okay to Have Weaknesses
Self-love isn’t about thinking we’re perfect—it’s about accepting ourselves fully. If your child says, “I’m bad at drawing,” you can respond with:
- “Nobody is great at everything, and that’s okay! What’s something you enjoy about drawing?”
- “You don’t have to be the best at something to love doing it.”
Normalising weaknesses helps children understand that they don’t have to be ‘the best’ to be valuable and loved.
Create a Self-Love Habit
Try making self-love a daily practice. Before bed, ask your child:
-
- “What’s something you love about yourself today?”
- “What’s something nice you did for someone else today?
This small habit can help shift their mindset over time.
Use Affirmations
Positive affirmations help children build a strong inner voice. Encourage them to repeat phrases like:
-
- “I am enough.”
- “I am loved just as I am.”
- “I believe in myself.”
Write these on sticky notes for their mirror or lunchbox, or say them together in the morning.
A Final Thought
If your child struggles with self-love, you’re not alone. Many children are growing up in a world that emphasises comparison and competition. But by teaching them to appreciate who they are, to embrace their strengths and weaknesses, and to practise kindness towards themselves, you’re giving them one of the greatest gifts of all—a strong foundation of self-worth that will serve them throughout their lives.
At RINKA, we’re committed to helping children develop confidence not just in their physical abilities but in who they are as individuals. We hope this helps spark conversations at home and encourages more self-love in your child’s daily life.
Let’s help our children see themselves the way we see them—amazing, unique, and absolutely worthy of love.